Anonymous sources
Crystal Air Productions (satire)
Contraception Debated By Men Who Can't Get Laid - Crystal Air Productions (satire)
"Even by their own wives," noted a source close to the committee who asked not to be identified. "And it's not like they haven't tried." Several men on the panel were clergy members, which would partially explain their lack of sexual activity, ...
Man Admits Faking Seizure To Get Out Of Twilight - Crystal Air Productions (satire)
"I remember thinking that I'd rather be watching the QVC channel from a hospital bed than sit through this crap and that's when the idea hit me," said the man who asked not to be identified out of fear of being made fun of by friends and coworkers for ...
'Sh*t My Dad Says' Father To Replace Regis On 'Live' - Crystal Air Productions (satire)
"Audiences used to Regis and his no-holds-barred take on everyday life will just love Sam," said the source, who declined to be named. "The producers were looking for someone who could fill some pretty big shoes but with a more youthful perspective ...
NASA Prepares To Shoot Nancy Grace Into Space - Crystal Air Productions (satire)
followed by a laugh one cameraman, who asked not to be identified, described as "the most bone-chilling sound I've ever heard." "And I used to work in a slaughterhouse," he added. According to NASA spokesman Marvin Federer, a panel made up of ...
Warren Buffett Tired Of Saving Our Sorry Asses - Crystal Air Productions (satire)
"I stopped by to visit him one time and he's got all this late-night TV crap all over his house," said a Buffett friend who asked not to be identified. "I'm like, Warren, two dozen pairs of Pajama Jeans isn't an investment, it's a whole new lifestyle. ...
Kraft Sets New Bar With Astounding 7-Cheese Blend - Crystal Air Productions (satire)
One former coworker who spoke on the condition of anonymity said rather than nurturing young talent to help ensure long-term success, Kraft pushes too hard ...
Passengers On Disabled Cruise Ship Ate Crew, Each Other - Crystal Air Productions (satire)
... a tribe calling themselves "The Sloths" was fomenting rebellion, according to a Carnival Splendor kitchen worker who asked not to be named. ...
Biden Stiffs Girl Scouts Out Of Hard-Earned Cash - Crystal Air Productions (satire)
... in the collection plate at church - and then he took back three dollars in change," said one Wilmington, Del. churchgoer who asked not to be identified. ...